How do I stop a co-worker who unnecessarily monitors my actions? Ask HR

Johnny C. Taylor Jr. tackles your human resources questions as part of a series for USA TODAY. Taylor is president and CEO of the Society for Human Resource Management, the world's largest HR professional society and author of "Reset: A Leader’s Guide to Work in an Age of Upheaval.”

The questions are submitted by readers, and Taylor's answers below have been edited for length and clarity.

Have a question? Submit it here.

Question: I share an office with a colleague. She continues to monitor my actions and report back to the leadership. This includes when I am leaving the office, the content of my discussion and recordings, amongst other things. I don't feel comfortable with this individual as I am unsure of her motives. How do I handle this situation? – Glenda

Answer: Working with co-workers who spend more time scrutinizing you than doing their own jobs can be extremely frustrating. In fact, frequently, the sort of behavior you describe stems from deficiencies or perceived inadequacies in their own performance.

In response, you may be tempted to yell, threaten, or retaliate in myriad ways, all of which are natural defensive reactions. While an aggressive reaction might be understandable, it typically is not acceptable in the workplace.

Remember, "cooler heads prevail." It's essential you remain calm and professional here. If another employee is trying to undermine you somehow, the last you want to do is give them ammunition.

First, ensure your performance and attendance are up to par, and your behaviors, including maintenance of company equipment and record-keeping, align with your employer's expectations. This way, you can take the focus off you and put it on your co-worker's behavior.

Once you've ensured you are performing satisfactorily and keeping a "cool head," you can deal with this co-worker in one of three ways or a combination thereof.

◾ Calmly and professionally address your specific concerns directly with this co-worker. Plan a meeting and explain how the monitoring and reporting causes discomfort and potential distrust. With an open mind, request an explanation for the behavior. I want to stress again that you meet any hostility with a calm and measured response. Only utilize this method if you are confident; you can maintain a level head.

◾ Document specific occurrences, dates, and times when your co-worker acted in ways that made you uncomfortable for any reason, especially recording you. Understand how some states require permission to have conversations recorded. Once you have compiled your documentation, I suggest bringing it to your supervisor or Human Resources for their review.

◾ Take your issue directly to your immediate supervisor and explain in detail what specifically is making you uncomfortable It is usually a supervisor's job to investigate and handle matters like these. Often, HR will get involved too and review an employee's alleged misconduct.

However you choose to address this issue, I wish you the best.

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I worked in Massachusetts for several years for a Massachusetts-based company. I later moved to Georgia and worked from home for the same company. I was recently laid off. Which state's rule do I fall under for payout of my unused accrued PTO? – Tammy

I’m sorry to hear of your layoff. You raise a great question, and one applicable to many other employees, so thank you for sharing your experience. Determining payout for unused accrued PTO can be confusing. Working in a different state than your employer adds an extra layer of complexity as you try to figure out which laws apply to your situation.

In most cases, the state's regulations in which employees physically work cover remote employees. In your case, Georgia state employment regulations apply. While Massachusetts requires employers to payout Paid Time Off at termination, Georgia does not. They allow private employers to administer PTO at their discretion.

Sometimes employers will establish more generous policies than what state law requires. Or if they're a multistate employer, they might have one policy meeting or exceeding the state's requirements with the most stringent regulations. I encourage you to speak to your Human Resources department to see if you qualify for a PTO payout based on company policy.

I hope this clears things up for you, and I wish you all the best as you search for new employment opportunities!